Why You Might Be a People-Pleaser (and How to Change It)

Being kind and generous is wonderful—but not when it costs you your peace. People-pleasing goes beyond being helpful. It’s a pattern of self-abandonment. If you constantly prioritize others' needs, avoid conflict, or fear disapproval, you might be stuck in a people-pleasing cycle.

This behavior often forms in childhood. Maybe love or approval came with conditions. Maybe conflict was scary. Maybe you learned that being good meant being quiet or agreeable. As adults, we carry these beliefs into our relationships—often at our own expense.

The cost? Burnout, resentment, and unclear identity. You might struggle with decision-making, feel taken advantage of, or notice you don’t really know what you want.

Therapy provides a safe space to explore the roots of your people-pleasing. We work on building self-worth that’s not based on performance. You’ll learn to tolerate discomfort, speak your truth, and set limits without guilt.

Saying no doesn’t make you unkind. It makes you authentic. And that’s what real connection is built on.