I want to start this blog today with us going on a journey. I want us to start that journey only if you are in a safe place. A place that you know there is no reason to truly fear. Maybe you’re in your room, or even that favorite nook that you drink your coffee in the morning. Man, I love coffee!
Here, I would like to ask you to close your eyes, but now that wouldn’t really work would it? However, after you read the next 3 lines, please do this and close your eyes. Thank you!
Go with me if you will to a place that you have been to. A place that all of us have been to. A place where you felt weak and unable to act. I mean the serious ability to not move. A place where you felt powerless.
Please really take 30 seconds and sit there and feel that.
When you are done, remember you are in that safe place where you started. Now, I want you to track your emotions and what you felt. Maybe even write out a list of five things going on in your mind and body.
My guess is that you felt a slew of emotions, one of them being pain. In fact, I would almost bet the house that many of you had a specific person that you felt that pain come from. Maybe it was a bully from your school days. Maybe a boss who made you feel insignificant.
This brings me back to the adage “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. Folks, that saying is crap! Seriously!
When dealing with a bully, no one, and I mean no one, is better than anyone else. People are people! Everybody is a people!
All actions have consequences, and a person’s actions remove or add privileges to their lives. The counter to that is also true. Some people who don’t act catch the consequence. Therefore, people that don’t deserve good stumble into good, and people that don’t deserve bad get caught up in bad, which was not of their own making.
How should you deal with a bully?
Next time someone is intentionally hurtful or even harmful:
- REMOVE YOURSELF TO A SAFE PLACE. TRUST YOUR GUT!!! When safe, remember that feeling that you had with the exercise above. What you felt in the exercise is the driving force that is being used to spew the hate to hurt another human being.
- I hope that you have chosen not to hurt others, but if you have: STOP! Remember, hurt people, hurt people. And then get help! You are worth it too! If you get honest with yourself and stop intentionally harming yourself and others, you can be free!
- At the core, the person’s action of hurting you has nothing to do with YOU. YOU have so much to offer and give! Always strive to be the best version of yourself you can be! And I don’t care what you say about not having worth! You do! I don’t care who YOU are or what YOU have or haven’t done. If you have breath, then you have worth.
- When people do hurt you, DO NOT hurt in silence. Silence is literally trapping pain inside and that pain will eat you alive.
So, in short, remember these 4 things:
- If you are not safe, get safe!
- When you are safe, remember to stay safe!
- In moments that you are in pain, TALK to someone you trust!
- If you don’t have someone you trust, get involved with professionals that will create a healthy team around you: counselors, spiritual leaders, teachers, grandma’s/grandpa’s if you don’t have one look for somebody else’s!
Remember, we are better together!